Collection of openers and Routines

PUA = Pick Up Artist

Masturbate in Shower

PUA: Did you know that 93% of girls masturbate in the shower?
Her: No
PUA: The other 7% sing
Her: Oh yeah?
PUA: And do you know what they sing?
Her: No, what?
PUA: Oh you must be one of the girls that masturbates then.
Her: HAHAHA

Jealous Cat

My friend has been going out with a girl for about three months and they get along really well, they love each other heaps, but her cat hates him. Like whenever he tries to pet it, it will just look at him like he's an idiot and walk off and one time he left his shoes by the door and it pissed on them. What do you think he should do? ...